Of Personalities, Roles & Stereotypes

Chatting with a "virgin" young guy who has been holding himself out for Mr. Right prompted me to write about personalities, the role they play in sex and stereotyping.

For one who have not had sex with another guy (so he claims) and who have not even explored his rectum with his fingers, he believes he is versatile more to bottom and he seeks a top guy to be his life partner.

Most of us are clear on the personalities stereotype associated with gay sex roles. If you are top, you are likely to be one who likes to dominate or exert power over your partner and the active one in sex. You are likely to be more manly and acts as the man of the house who makes most of the major decisions. While the bottom guy is one who is submissive and likes to be pampered or doted upon or cared for and taken care of. Bottoms are the passive one in sex.

In a local context, tops are mostly the manly acting ones and the bottom are softer and, dare I say, kinda sissy, the diva or queen. (I see brickbats raining my way!)

So what does one make of a guy who takes on both sex roles (the versatile guy)? He acts accordingly to what suits him or which role he prefers when he is in the mood???

Should not the role we prefer be based on which role gives us the most pleasure rather than the type of personality we are? I believe it is after exploring both roles and as a result of our experiences, we are better able to decide on the role most preferred.

Torn between Two Lovers

My good friend who works in the Singapore has fallen in love with a Singaporean guy whom he describes as just the type of guy he had yearned for. So what's the problem? He has a boyfriend here in KL who he has been cohabiting for the past 4 years. The Singaporean is fully aware of his relationship with his boyfriend right from the start. My friend says he still loves his boyfriend but his heart also palpitate for the Singaporean. Truth is he is in love with both of them!






He decides to go with the Singaporean while he is there working and he would not break up with his boyfriend whom he sees when he is back for the weekend. He seems happy doing the stuff he did with the Singaporean but he also feels at home with his boyfriend whenever he is back here in KL. While the Singaporean provides the company that he seeks, my friend feels the comfort of home when he is back here during the weekend.

Yes, there are some problems between his boyfriend and him and the Singaporean is almost everything he had wished for. Does he want to choose between them? Right now, I believe he just wants to enjoy it and let things flow.

Is it possible to be in love with two person at the same time? Some would scoff at that and says that's cheating. What say you?

Amare et sapere vix deo conceditur.

Temptations!

Image via Wikipedia

Reading a blog relating a doctor examining a fisherman and intentionally re-examining the ripped abdomen of the fisherman prompted me to write this. The doctor was feeling a rush of adrenaline with his heart racing with desire but was able to contain his urge to lick the patient's nipples and resist the temptation.

Indeed guys are the sexually physical ones!! Gay guys are especially tempted to, and most often give in to their urges when faced with an opportunity to "conquer" a subject that attracts them.

Staying faithful to your gay lover or practicing monogamy has always been an issue with most gay couples. It seems to be something that is difficult for most given the vast opportunities to stray. But there are those who insists on being faithful and practicing monogamy.

Some couples practice an open relationship. Some others, play individually with the partner not wanting to know any details but being aware of such infidelity. Yet some play together.

What is it about guys that makes them so sexually attuned to their groin?? My guess is it's the hormones!! And the willingness of guys to engage in some fun when mutually attracted makes things easy!

What about straight guys? Well, guys no matter straight or gay or bisexual are prone to yield to the rumblings within their groin. The difference? Gays have more opportunities to stray!

Life being the forbidden fruit!

Image via Wikipedia

Some gays are intrigued by married bisexuals and I am often inundated with questions about my life. Gay friends tend to think that married bisexual guys have the best of both worlds being able to have fun with both sexes! There may be some truth in that but living a double life is not easy.

While some would like to keep their orientation from their gay friends, I take the measure to ensure that gay guys I befriend are clear of my status right from the start. Why? Well, I do not want them to be shocked when they bump into my family and me while at the shopping malls. In fact, without my knowledge, a bisexual friend bumped into me with his girlfriend and respectfully kept his distance. I find most gays respect my honesty about my status and keep their distance when they see me with my family or clients.

Being bisexual I have to tread very carefully lest the cat slips out of the bag while the family is watching. The desire for the touch of a guy is in conflict with the life that I am known to be leading, that of a man with a spouse and kids.

Some gays view married bisexual guys as rife with greed, wanting it all; having the cake and eating it. I have total respect for that and they are entitled to their opinions.

Yes, I have had emotional entanglements with a few guys but believe me, those were not consciously embarked upon. I have always told myself that its not fair to be emotionally involved with any guy and its better to keep the bonding merely physical. But then, just like sodium when added to water will have an explosive reaction, both guys might fall for each other despite knowing the intricacies of such a clandestine relationship.

So while on a physical note, we might be having the best of both worlds and enjoying ourselves but when the heart is smitten, it can be frustrating!

Love us or hate us, for we are just flesh and blood like all!

For more reading, please go to Bi-sexual Married Man Part I

Bisexual Married Guys are HOT?!?!

Image via Wikipedia

A comment from a reader prompted me to write this post. Thanks Lucifer the Devil/Angel!

Some guys find married bisexual guys HOT! They are attracted to them and most are unable to clearly explain what it is that they find attractive about married bisexual guys. Maybe, as one has explained, married bisexual guys are the forbidden fruit. Its the mind that makes the guy desire to explore the forbidden.

To some, they have this image that married guys are manly, fatherly and most likely to have a tummy. To others, the mere fact that the guy is married and bisexual is totally sexy and if he is in good shape and with a good looking face to boot, that's a bonus!

While there are some guys who totally cannot accept bisexuality and detest married bisexual guys or gays who just married to hide their identity. They do not like the fact that married guys have one foot in this side.

In my conversations with most guys who are attracted to married bisexual guys, the most common thread seems to be that they find married bisexual guys passionate in bed! They have commented that married guys know what they want and are good performers!

Personally, I discovered this side after I got married and after I was exposed to the internet. Am I passionate in bed? You have to find out yourself! haha...

Time it takes to Climax in SEX

Been wondering how long does a guy takes to reach orgasm that is considered good or good enough!

Some guys climax too quickly and that is referred to as "premature ejaculation". PE has been defined as occurring if the man ejaculates within two minutes of penetration. It could be arousal levels were too high bringing about a climax too soon when sexual excitement, some anxiety and over stimulation are common features. Now, I guess reaching the peak in a short time might be a turn-off for the partner as he might have just gotten into the act.

On the other hand, there is a condition called "delayed ejaculation" where a man either does not have orgasms at all or can't have an orgasm until after prolonged intercourse which might last for 30–45 minutes or more. DE is the inability to ejaculate or persistent difficulty in achieving orgasm despite the presence of normal sexual desire and sexual stimulation. Men who are unable to ejaculate during intercourse or in some cases, during any sexual activity in the presence of a partner, can suffer from frustration and embarrassment. They might be suffering from performance anxiety when they are trying too hard. In these instances, the man is so concerned about giving his partner pleasure that he loses track of his own.

So how long is considered good enough? According to my research on the internet, normally a man can achieve orgasm within 2–4 minutes of active thrusting during sexual intercourse.

Now, which category do you guys belong to?

Me? Go read my post on "Adventure in the Night" for the answer! LMAO...

Writer's Block!!!

Have not been posting anything for a while. Guess I have the writer's block!

Actually, I have written one post which I have not published as I am apprehensive and a unfinished post which I had not gotten about to complete. Being feeling quite lost about everything, don't really know what to write!

I will be back with some intelligent discourse to bore you all soon!
Anyone out there who got any suggestions!

Gym Guy - Episode 3

The meeting that required 1 week advance notice was finally confirmed when I sent KC a text message last Thursday to confirm the coffee date.

On that day, we met up at the Jacky Chan Cafe in Lot 10. He ordered green tea as he is health conscious. Up close, he is really handsome looking with fair almost flawless skin and a Korean looking face and a muscular body to boot. If he is taller than his 171cm frame, he could be a Korean pop star!! haha...

We chatted lots of stuff but our conversation mostly centred on my family, his university hostel days, his family and his job. He is a financial planner and given his handsome face, I thought there would be some interesting incidents for him to share.

So, I probed.

Me: Have you met any demanding clients? I mean any aunties who would hint hint at something?

KC: Oh yes, some rich mistresses are my clients and they introduce their friends to me. They always call me to come out for coffee and/or ask me to go to their place to "discuss" their insurance needs!

Me: So, what do they do?

KC: Err... (reluctant to give details)

Me: Do their hands rub your chest or your arms etc?

KC: Ya lah! They never bother to ask also and just proceed to rub rub. Some would say my arms are so muscular or my chest is so nice, etc.

Me: How do you react? Did it go on further?

KC: Err... (silence)

Me: Ok ok. Are there male clients who do that?

KC: Of course, some of these uncles are really daring. One insisted that I meet him at his place, giving all sorts of excuses when I suggest some public places. All these aunties and uncles never bother to ask me before they try anything on me!

Me: Aiyoh, you really expect them to ask you? These kind of things, people normally don't ask for fear of rejection. They rather do it and see the response. For example, if I asked you "Can I kiss you?", what would you have replied? You would have said "No!" surely.

KC: I would consider. (to my total surprise!!)

I really did not know how to react to that. After chatting with him for almost 4 hours, we left for our individual home.

Will we meet again? Well, we will bump into each in the gym off and on!

Kissing

Kissing between lovers is an act of romantic expression with the intensity of sexual feeling. It involves the act of pressing one's lips against the lip's of another person. It evokes the sensations of touch, taste and smell and is an expression of love or affection between two persons. The opening of mouths and the insertion or movement of tongues into the other's mouths is called French kissing. Kissing is also sexual foreplay.

Romantic kissing is best done in privacy as it affords a couple the proximity and intimacy to experience the sensations in full. Kissing evokes a sense of well being that is hard to define. But not everyone is into kissing, some would rather go straight to the main course. Some would reserve it solely for their special ones.

Personally, I am a romantic at heart and I love to kiss. I would even kiss my partner all over his body to explore every nook and cranny possible. Yes, I have kissed a fair bit of guys. The best kisser to me has to be WC, we could kiss and kiss. He has a tender loving way of kissing. Yupp, I miss those kisses!!!